How can/could you tell when your mother is lying/lied to you?
Q & A II, Electric Bugaloo
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Ooh. Good question. This is causing me some introspection. If we’re talking about my mother, which we are, hmm. I think she over-talks things that she’s fibbing about. Like over-explaining. Or overcompensating for an action of which she’s ashamed. Like she won’t shut up. Just babbles on. And keeps bringing whatever the lie is up because she’s fixated on the fact that she’s lying to her child.
So, if I asked her where she was last night and maybe she was out gallivanting around on my dad or something she would respond “Oh I went to the mall. There was a 75% off sale at Christopher and Banks so I was there for about 45 minutes and looked at some red shirts and finally decided not to buy any of them after trying them on. *laughing* There was this lady next to me in the dressing room with the fattest ankles! I could see them, you know, whenever I bent down to fix my pants. And, you know, after I shopped I went to the Coffee Pile and had a non-fat sugar free caramel latte. I almost got a biscotti, but I decided against it.” And on and on. So, the listener, the child, would just kind of absorb and the moment would pass, but she would know something was wrong. Or up.
So, it’s like maybe my mom was driving home after the thing she was lying about going over and over in her head details that never happened. And in real life she’s never that observant so it’s fairly obvious.
As a caveat…
My mother doesn’t really do that. I made it up.
When my mom lies to me, she purposely does it in a way that I will know she is lying. It’s weird. And super annoying. It’s like she’s telling me that she’s about to lie to me. She’ll use a slightly different tone of voice or have a different look in her eye. Maybe it’s just because I know her so well that I’m able to pick up on it. Or maybe it’s a mother thing…like she doesn’t really want to lie to me so she’s trying to let me know she’s lying to me.
The only time I know my mother lied to me was when she told me that my clumsiness was just a phase and I would outgrow it. Years later, I confronted her about it (because I’m still clumsy), and she said that she’d lied to make me feel better. So I guess it would be the sound of pity in her voice that should be the clue.
Even when she was making things up, she had herself convinced that whatever she was saying must be true. She bought into all her own propaganda. I actually had to tell her when she was full of crap. I must say, she could make anything sound pretty good.